I did it my way.

Lately so much has been happening to make me really realize that I am getting old.
Me? Old?  They say age is only a number but there really does come a time when you see "times are a changin".
So many of my family and friends are facing issues of their own, it is hard to see this and know it is around the corner for all of us, all to soon.
I miss the times of my friends.
I miss my children, small and wanting to be with me.
I miss my sister.
I miss my girlfriend Linda.
But I have never been one to give up, just stand up Linda and keep moving, quote from Dad.
I am doing this.
Trying to still find things to do that make me happy.
I read, crochet, sew and it just is not enough.
Circumstances have made it impossible for us to travel,
but I can handle that.  We find enough things to do that we do together without much cost.
We go to antique stores, we have a dog who we adore, we live for the times spent with our kids,
we go to museums and different events.
Someone told me once I was a jealous person,
that hurt me,
I am not
If I was I would truly be unhappy.
Simple things make me happy,
when a room is painted, a ride, looking at the water,
a beautiful sunrise, sunset, my children, a good book.
God has been good to me, he helped me accomplish what I truly wanted to do for my children, and I finely found the man in my life that is true, loving and kind to me.
What else do I need?
A person would not be lying to say that they wish their "bucket list" would have had some times but "our fate is in our stars"
and I accept that.
I have truly enjoyed reconnecting with some old school friends, made me remember my times as a teenager were truly great, and it is because of them that this happened
Now as I lean into the sunset, I set my sights on peace and joy in Jerry and my lives.  Not riches, just happiness and love.

What if.......

There is no one that is not touched by bad times,
There is no one that has not felt lonely,
There is no one that has not felt sad,
There is no one that has not felt helpless,
There is no one that has not felt hopeless,
There is no way anyone can understand unless you feel so much pain yourself,
how these feeling make you want an escape,
a rest, a relief, someone to understand, courage, something to just make  it  stop.
How sad that drugs can do this
How sad that they get out of control
How sad that no one is safe
We all want to fit, we all want to feel calm
but we do not want to die.
There have been people in my life that I still say to myself,  what if I did this, or what if I would have called,
but I guess this is part of the sadness of it all
Drugs win, whether it is heroin, cocaine, weed, alcohol, cigarettes
They win
We lose
husbands, fathers, friends, sisters, brothers, children
We can't judge, we don't know
when you can't cope, when you walk the floor, when you cry, when you  feel like you would do anything,
ANYTHING, to feel better.
What if we could make it stop?






How sad