Thankful for.....

Erin,Devin,Jerry,Mom,Daddy, my sister and brother, learning to drive, my best friend, Buster, Molly, Max, Penny, Abe, Sassy, Aunt Mamie, Grandma, My wedding day (both of them were happy days), dancing, reading, Benjamin, Erins wedding day, Devins graduation, Nancy, hool a hoop champ, running, Bob-Lo, Brian, leg wrestling with my brother years ago, Stone quarry, ice cream, movies, music, Erin College, Billy, Chrissy, health, God, snow, rain, tea, knitting, wine, Todd, Blake, computer, baking, laughing, smiles, hugs, Chloe, watching snow fall, peace, Beatles, Bob Dylan, John Lennon, birthdays, Christmas, presents, Art, watching a movie with Jerry, Antiquing with Jerry, shopping, Michelle, lazy days, being with my kids, Lori, Callie, my cousins, children, babies, hope

Innocence Lost

Bryce Dickenson was brought into my life 6 years ago by marriage.  He was a bright, funny, beautiful boy.
He was my grandson in every sense of the word but by blood.  I loved him, worried about him, got mad at him, laughed with him, talked books with him, talked music with him, but most of all I loved him.
He would tease me and tell me how old I was.  63 is so OLD Grandma he would say, then in the next breath, add: but you are so cool.  I wish I would have been cool enough.
How do you cope with the fact that someone you love was heading the wrong way?
 I saw things, I read things, just wish I would have done something.
He had a gift, laughter, humor and beautiful dimples that got me everytime.
He will never see another sunset, another concert, get married, have children, laugh again.
We all make choices, but Bryce was guided also down the wrong path by friends he barely knew.
He was making choices that were so wrong for him.  I have seen pictures of him with these friends.  He looked like he was always on the outside of the group.  He was.  He belonged with us still.  I missed him when we visited and he was away.  Now I will miss him forever.  Friends do not let friends die lost and alone
That I will never forgive.  Never forget.  He has two brothers he left behind, who will miss him dearly.  They will not know the knowledge he carried with him, they will not know his humor, they will not know him.  The young man, the sweet young man.
This is something no one ever wants to see.  A young person leaving this world to soon.  This world will be a lonely place without him in it.  Hold tight to those you love.  Once they are gone, there are no more hugs, no more kisses, no more laughs....just that empty feeling and the wish you could see them just one more time..

Sisters and Brothers

As I write this, my heart is full.  There is a young girl, that I have known since she was born.  Also her sister.  The older sister has been very ill for the last month and is still in the hospital.  I have been reading her younger sisters blog for the entire time. I am so proud of both of them.
I have an older sister who I also could not even begin to think of living without.  But still you know......the thoughts come in once in a while.  But you have to go in faith like Laura is doing and making the very best of what you have NOW.  I am so glad we have done that too.  So many good times, laughter, tears.  But we have been through it all together.
She has been my rock, my ear, a pain, but most of one of the most important people in my life forever.
When we were little, she was always there to hold my hand (even tho at times a little to tightly) and now we are holding each others hands.  I am no longer the little girl, she had to contend with but the younger sister who she feels she can now depend on.
We had our children close, and had so many good time throughout the years of their growing up.
Then I went through a heartbreaking divorce and she was always there for me.  To listen to me, to keep me going, and for giving that extra love to Erin and Devin.
Laura has spoken of what her Mom told her about family.  I also told Erin and Devin that.  Hold on to each other, because when I am not here anymore, the two of you with your strong love for each other will always be there for each other.
This morning I read Laura's blog and it made me cry.  Then I read the comment my Erin made to Laura.
About remaining close to her brother always and the importance of their relationship.  It truly made me happy
I am in the twilight of my years now, and as I look back.  Life has been good.  There was always just the three of us.  Erin, Devin and myself.  Little money.  But there was always laughter, mixed with a little drama now and then and always Love.  I thank God for my husband, my Sister, my brother, and especially my children.  They have always been my life and I am very proud of both of them.  Thank you Laura for all the wonderful memories you shared of Leslie.  I have been thinking this morning of some of my own.  With my Sister, with Erin and Devin.  The years truly have been good..

More than the same name

It isn't often in life you are blessed to have one true friend.  Many friends, yes.  But to have that one person in your life who understands is truly a blessing.  All through our years together, we have gone through many of the same things.  Went through divorces together, and all the sadness that goes with it, had two children each, and no money, but always managed to find things to do on those holidays when you are alone,   New Years Eve, couples things, which you are never thought about.  Losing parents, getting married again to men that we know will be by our side at the very end.  But most of all, my partner in crime, listens to what I have to say and understands what I mean.  Our children our grown now, but here we are still talking and worrying about them together.  She is quite a doer, and has always pushed the "quiet one"  even had to stand up for me at times.  I only hope that I have done for her what she has done for me.  Just plain been there.  That is all you really need.  Sometimes, just for someone to listen.  I love her.  We do things with our husbands now, they have also formed a close relationship.  Maybe someday we can walk grandchildren together.  I am so glad she is in my life.  Oh, did I mention we also worked desk to desk for years in the back of a big office building.  You can imagine the plotting back there!!!  We graduated from the same high school, had two children each.  (Often, people would mistake her girls for mine, and my boy and girl for hers)  Mine are dark haired and hers are blond.  We have laughed together, worked together, planned together and cried together.
She is very dear to me and I just want to make sure she knows this.  Now we are getting older together,  What is ahead?  We don't know, but we do know we will come through it TOGETHER.
Oh, did I mention her name was Linda?

This ever changing world in which we live in........

What's goin on?  I wonder if that is a question all of us ask ourselves lately.  I know I do.   Why is it so important to have that big TV?  Why is it so important to have that big vacation?  Why is it so important to spend...spend....spend?  Is that the only thing that makes one happy today.   I grew up in a very different world.  One that will never come again.   People cared.  They visited.  They called.  They brought over dinners when someone was ill.  They shared, they dreamed, they loved. 
I remember my Mom and Dad telling me about the depression, how awful it was, yet how it brought their friends and their family together.  A big night on the town might be sitting on the porch talking, shooting the breeze, making each other make it through.   Sure, there was crime, there was fighting, but there was compassion.  I do not want to think we have lost that.  I know we have not.  I have raised two very wonderful children, who did not have everything, who lived in a small home, who shared.  They never talk of feeling deprived.  Ever.  But I did raise them to be individuals with their own minds, something in which I do not believe I have ever mastered.  Always trying to please someone, when really can we ever?
This is a very different generation.  But it is a good generation.  Basically we all want the same, to be happy.  My mother told me once that things always come full circle.  Maybe it will, maybe it won't.  But of this I am
sure.  Everyone dreams, everyone loves, everyone wants someone to listen to them.  Quiet..... listen, it is amazing what you will hear. 

Memories of Home

Wyandotte, wonderful city.   Close my eyes and remember.   At night, lying in bed, hearing the boats greet each other, or trains blowing their whistles into the night.  Time of dime stores, drug stores with soda fountains, loop bus that went from Jefferson to Eureka to Fort to Goddard, around and around again.  Such fun it was to ride that bus into Downtown Wyandotte to shop with Mom.  My brother and I would look in the dimestore window while waiting for the bus to come to take us home.  Christmas was especially exciting, seeing toys in the window, and all the hustle and bustle amidst cold winter nights.  Living in one area your whole life, then moving is a challenge.  Even though the move is not that far away.  Somehow nothing compares to the place where you are from.  When you go back, look around, remember, you think, this is where I am from, this is my roots, where nowhere else in the world I felt more comfortable.  Then you realize, you never will.  For this is Home.

I already have a website and would like to publish a blog to it.

I already have a website and would like to publish a blog to it.