"And we all Shine On"

December 2010...... and here I am thinking, how to get through when you feel so sad?
Me, Miss Christmas Carol herself was like the new bah humbug of Christmas 2010. What was I going to do? My wonderful husband wanted the tree up, I, who usually can't wait, waited. But I put it up, decorated it, decorated the house. Jerry put lights up outside. The whole nine yards. But in my mind all the time, Who is going to see this, not having a big Christmas Eve at my house this year, knew I was not going to get much quality time with my two wonderful children and stepson. Ok, Linda, why are you doing all this? But I did, and continued to do the usual, baked, shopped, wrapped, planned, kept right on moving Dad just like you always told me.
Bryce had died, only 18, Erin's husband was laid off 2 weeks before Christmas, and they are trying to adopt, Lori is in pain, cousins had died the past few years, family members, one most beloved has been sick all year and was facing so much. How do you be happy, at the happiest time of the year?
Well, one night, I was laying on the couch, watching "It a Wonderful Life" with Jerry, because he insisted. Would'nt watch Home for the Holidays this year at Thanksgiving, but I laid down and prepared to watch "Its a Wonderful Life".

Halfway into the movie, I looked over at the tree.
Just looked.
Then, suddenly one light shone extra bright. One light, I though, no you are just seeing things. Then another, and another. And a thought entered my mind: one bright light, Bryce, two bright lights, Mom, three bright lights, Dad. All the bright lights turned into all my family who I was missing and they were telling me,
Shine On, Linda Shine on.
Then I thought of Jesus, That one bright light, Christmas Eve, when he was born.
All of our lights shine brightly, but they dim out the same as Jesus did. Only he came back to give us hope for all the tomorrows.
Then I started to enjoy things more. Jerry and I shopped together, we even baked together! I am blessed to have my children come see me when they can. We had a wonderful time at Greenfield Village on Devins birthday. Erin,Billy, Devin, Chrissy, Michelle and Jerry and I. It was great. Had a great shopping day with my girls, my sister and Michelle. Went and walked around Frankenmuth with Lori and Todd. During sad times we had good times. Our Hills and our Valleys.
Christmas Eve, my sister surprised me and came to church during the service. She said my eyes lit up when I saw her. My heart lit up! Then we had a quiet Christmas Eve dinner, just the four of us, Jerry, myself and Barb and Art. And guess what, it was nice, in fact it was perfect!
Believe me, this really happened with the lights. And although I am still struggling with the good ole things that come with old age and the horrible death of Bryce I realize now we must always shine on.

"And we all shine on,
Like the moon and stars and the sun
We must all shine on" John Lennon