Well, I have written many blogs lately. Just wanted to share some of the amazing grace my family has shown and endured.
Lets start with my Mom. She never had much money to spend on us when we were little. But there was never a Christmas that went by that was not memorable. She baked, she managed to surprise us all. She did not complain about money, just was a worrier. But she had the grace and beauty of Cardinal, her favorite bird. Cardinals bring me special joy when I see them, and they always appear, at the most important times. My cousin died this week, she knew how I would feel. I the way to her house as we turned the corner, there was one sitting on the fence on her block. She loved her children, there is no better love.
My Dad, He had the grace of faith. He did not worry, he never let you know when something was bothering him. Until the week he died he got down on his knees a prayed beside his bed, before retiring. He had the best advice, and I always felt safe when he was around.
My Sister, well I have teased on her, but there is no greater love than a sister for a sister. From the very beginning she has been there for me. Kindergarden, I was one of the criers. I believe she was in sixth grade, I would start to cry, the teacher would call her down and she would settle whatever the problem was. She always did stick up for me, she did not squeeze my hand that hard (after all, would you want to take a five year old everywhere with you?) She did not make red marks on her arm. She also was blamed for many things while we were growing up. She bought me a book every payday when she started working, she bought me my first bikini. She opens her heart and home to anyone. She cannot hurt feelings, if it does happen, she suffers more than the one who's feeling were hurt. ( I am like that too) She is always there for people she cares about, and for me, always there at anytime.
My brother, for his cranky pants manner, I know how much my brother loves me. I remember playing with him when we were little. I remember how cute he was and is. He is very tender hearted, but sometimes has difficulty showing it. I could call him right now and he would talk to me and listen. He liked peas. He is also generous.
My husband, Jerry. Why did it take so long to find him? No one knows how kind and funny this man is because he is so quiet. But he is. He love wtih all his heart, has been there in bad times, good times and sad times. My true soul mate.
Linda, my best girlfriend. Through most of our lives, we have gone through the same things together. We tried to give our children happy times. Being single without much money is not fun. But somehow we managed and made some wonderful memories. I know she is there for me and I for her.
Just this week, during the funeral she knew what was happening to my heart. She was so kind and good. She knows what I like, what I do not like and who I love. She knows I hurt, she knows when I am happy or sad. She proved that Saturday.
My children Erin and Devin, I raised them to respect elders, which they do. They could be fighting mad, but never say something to an elder. They would rather not say anything at all than to be disrespectful. They love each other. They love their Aunt like an extended me. They love me.
They were good children and they are good adults. They both have had their share of disappoinments but they struggle, but never quit. Just like their Grandfather and I told them. They have good hearts, which to me, is a blessing.
So, my family, although we are not perfect we do carry the grace of love for one another. I am blessed they are a part of me. I was given the very best of luck when it came to family. I so love them all. They truly carry Amazing Grace.
Monday, August 27, 2012
Friday, August 24, 2012
Because you loved me.
Excerpt from "What Remains" by Carole Radziwill A friendship
John Kennedy and Anthony Radziwill are cousins, close cousins, like brothers. This is about one of the last vists John has with Tony.
"Tonypro" he says quietly and grabs Anthony's hand. John's shoes are black and shiny. His bow tie is undone. His tuxedo looks comical in the yellow lights of the ICU.
He begins humming, and then there are words. We can barely hear him, but Anthony does, and he smiles. His eyes are stll closed, but they seem more relaxed when he smiles, and then his mouth starts to move along with John's.
If you go down to the woods today,
You're sure of a big surprise.
If you go down to the woods today,
You'd better go in disguise.
For every bear that ever there was
Will gather there for certain because
Today' the day the teddy bears have their picnic.
They sing together softly, this children's song, with their hands clasped like little boys. They sing it over and over, John holding tightly on to Anthony's hand. They are in a place that no one else has ever been or could ever go, singing a song that John's mother used to sing to the two of them. The boys who laughed and played and sang silly songs are all grown up now--John in a tuxedo, Anthony in a hospital gown.
The doctors think Anthony will die tonight, and John takes him to the safest place he knows.
John Kennedy dies in a airplane crash three weeks before his cousin Anthony.
My cousin Nancy died two days ago.
I sang her two songs my grandmother used to sing to us. It was myD honor.
She could hear me, but could not sing along with me.
She was surrounded with loved one.
Her wonderful daughter and grandson.
His brother and wife Tina, who has been a god send.
Her niece Dina.
And me.
I will always miss her. I thank God she was in my life.
John Kennedy and Anthony Radziwill are cousins, close cousins, like brothers. This is about one of the last vists John has with Tony.
"Tonypro" he says quietly and grabs Anthony's hand. John's shoes are black and shiny. His bow tie is undone. His tuxedo looks comical in the yellow lights of the ICU.
He begins humming, and then there are words. We can barely hear him, but Anthony does, and he smiles. His eyes are stll closed, but they seem more relaxed when he smiles, and then his mouth starts to move along with John's.
If you go down to the woods today,
You're sure of a big surprise.
If you go down to the woods today,
You'd better go in disguise.
For every bear that ever there was
Will gather there for certain because
Today' the day the teddy bears have their picnic.
They sing together softly, this children's song, with their hands clasped like little boys. They sing it over and over, John holding tightly on to Anthony's hand. They are in a place that no one else has ever been or could ever go, singing a song that John's mother used to sing to the two of them. The boys who laughed and played and sang silly songs are all grown up now--John in a tuxedo, Anthony in a hospital gown.
The doctors think Anthony will die tonight, and John takes him to the safest place he knows.
John Kennedy dies in a airplane crash three weeks before his cousin Anthony.
My cousin Nancy died two days ago.
I sang her two songs my grandmother used to sing to us. It was myD honor.
She could hear me, but could not sing along with me.
She was surrounded with loved one.
Her wonderful daughter and grandson.
His brother and wife Tina, who has been a god send.
Her niece Dina.
And me.
I will always miss her. I thank God she was in my life.
Saturday, August 18, 2012
We share the laughter
My daughter is always telling me that my blogs make her cry. So I would like to tell you of some laughter and funny times with a special person in my life.
If God would have given me another sister it would have been her. (in fact we are blood) we are cousins. 3 months apart. She is older as I like to tell her. Constantly.
I think she is one of the first persons I loved in my life when I knew what love is.
We lived together for awhile with our families. Her mom and mine were sisters. Maybe that is where the bond started. I had this big mop of curly hair while she had the typical two year old strands. But her mom dressed dressed her cuter. When she walked at 8 months then I walked at 8 months (I must have worked real hard the month of March to catch up) when she talked, I talked.
Early on about 5, My family moved to Ecorse and hers to Southgate. I lived across the street from our other aunt. One day they were coming to visit, I was so excited. Only thing, she was visiting the other aunt. So there we were, looking at each other from different sides of the street. So me, naturally, came up with a plan. Come on over, cross, it will be alright. So she did. She got hit by a car. Thankfully no injuries and all was fine. But I never forgot it.
She and I were gigglers when we were young, drove my aunt crazy. When I spent the night she would say, If you two girls do not stop it.....she did not have to say more.
We would meet with both of our brothers up at the dairy queen have ice cream and go home. The dairy queen was middle ground.
She had a small swimming pool we would fill up in the summer, run from the back of the street, jump in, all the water would come out; we would fill it back up and jump in. We did this over and over again.
She had the Huge and I mean huge blackboard in the basement, we had so much fun playing school and drawing on it. One time, after getting bored with that we were exploring in the basement. Came upon an old rake. I stepped on the prongs and it hit me in the head. I said, did you see that? then we laughed. I did it AGAIN and she looked at me. She did not have to say anything.
Once we made a birthday cake for her Mom. We went to the penny candy store and loaded it with penny candy. That cake weighed at least 10 lbs. My aunt ate it though.
When we were 8 or 9 our grandma got sick. We both loved her so much. She could not eat, so we told her when she got better we would make her a huge turkey dinner. Of course we did not realize how sick she was.
When my grandma died, she and her brother spent the night at our house, she insists I gave her pajamas with holes in them while I wore pretty baby dolls!
She always wanted to learn Highland Dancing so I taught her some steps and she tried to teach me the mash potatoes. I still cannot do the mash potatoes but I bet she knows the first step to the Highland Fling.!!!!
We shared ice skates, we shared everything. I had two mohair sweaters,one red one green. Every Friday we would switch colors, her red me green or vice versa. This was high school.
I was maid of honor at her wedding
She tried to fix me up once with some dude, but it did not work out (I had a broken engagement) and she though she should help.)
Laughter has always been a great thing between the two of us. I almost talked to her every day after we both were married and we always end of laughing. Still do.
When my marriage ended, she was there, putting up with me. Did I mention she is a very good listener.
I always wanted to be like her and she recently told me that she always wanted to be like me. Mutual admiration society.
When I got married, she was a bridesmaid, I introduced her with her maiden name. She was pregnant!
Very recently, we were sitting in the living room. Now mind you, she has had her TV on the wall for a couple of years. I looked around and looked her and said, Where did your TV go. We both looked at each other she had a funny look on her face, then we both burst out laughing!
Once when we spent the night at a uncles house together, we were taking a bath together (we were young) and my aunt came in and said.Now we don't pee in the tub. She left and I looked at her and said "do you pee in the tub" she said "no" we still laugh about that.
When something funny happens with her she tells me, when something funny happens with me I tell her. And we laugh, oh how we laugh.
So family, alot of laughter and good times are in our lives. They sure have been with me. Some of the best of them with her, my cousin, my "sister" my friend.
She told me it is much better to laugh than cry. She lives by that.
"There are times that I remember, in my life, I still recall" "There are times that I remember, I love them all" The Beatles.
If God would have given me another sister it would have been her. (in fact we are blood) we are cousins. 3 months apart. She is older as I like to tell her. Constantly.
I think she is one of the first persons I loved in my life when I knew what love is.
We lived together for awhile with our families. Her mom and mine were sisters. Maybe that is where the bond started. I had this big mop of curly hair while she had the typical two year old strands. But her mom dressed dressed her cuter. When she walked at 8 months then I walked at 8 months (I must have worked real hard the month of March to catch up) when she talked, I talked.
Early on about 5, My family moved to Ecorse and hers to Southgate. I lived across the street from our other aunt. One day they were coming to visit, I was so excited. Only thing, she was visiting the other aunt. So there we were, looking at each other from different sides of the street. So me, naturally, came up with a plan. Come on over, cross, it will be alright. So she did. She got hit by a car. Thankfully no injuries and all was fine. But I never forgot it.
She and I were gigglers when we were young, drove my aunt crazy. When I spent the night she would say, If you two girls do not stop it.....she did not have to say more.
We would meet with both of our brothers up at the dairy queen have ice cream and go home. The dairy queen was middle ground.
She had a small swimming pool we would fill up in the summer, run from the back of the street, jump in, all the water would come out; we would fill it back up and jump in. We did this over and over again.
She had the Huge and I mean huge blackboard in the basement, we had so much fun playing school and drawing on it. One time, after getting bored with that we were exploring in the basement. Came upon an old rake. I stepped on the prongs and it hit me in the head. I said, did you see that? then we laughed. I did it AGAIN and she looked at me. She did not have to say anything.
Once we made a birthday cake for her Mom. We went to the penny candy store and loaded it with penny candy. That cake weighed at least 10 lbs. My aunt ate it though.
When we were 8 or 9 our grandma got sick. We both loved her so much. She could not eat, so we told her when she got better we would make her a huge turkey dinner. Of course we did not realize how sick she was.
When my grandma died, she and her brother spent the night at our house, she insists I gave her pajamas with holes in them while I wore pretty baby dolls!
She always wanted to learn Highland Dancing so I taught her some steps and she tried to teach me the mash potatoes. I still cannot do the mash potatoes but I bet she knows the first step to the Highland Fling.!!!!
We shared ice skates, we shared everything. I had two mohair sweaters,one red one green. Every Friday we would switch colors, her red me green or vice versa. This was high school.
I was maid of honor at her wedding
She tried to fix me up once with some dude, but it did not work out (I had a broken engagement) and she though she should help.)
Laughter has always been a great thing between the two of us. I almost talked to her every day after we both were married and we always end of laughing. Still do.
When my marriage ended, she was there, putting up with me. Did I mention she is a very good listener.
I always wanted to be like her and she recently told me that she always wanted to be like me. Mutual admiration society.
When I got married, she was a bridesmaid, I introduced her with her maiden name. She was pregnant!
Very recently, we were sitting in the living room. Now mind you, she has had her TV on the wall for a couple of years. I looked around and looked her and said, Where did your TV go. We both looked at each other she had a funny look on her face, then we both burst out laughing!
Once when we spent the night at a uncles house together, we were taking a bath together (we were young) and my aunt came in and said.Now we don't pee in the tub. She left and I looked at her and said "do you pee in the tub" she said "no" we still laugh about that.
When something funny happens with her she tells me, when something funny happens with me I tell her. And we laugh, oh how we laugh.
So family, alot of laughter and good times are in our lives. They sure have been with me. Some of the best of them with her, my cousin, my "sister" my friend.
She told me it is much better to laugh than cry. She lives by that.
"There are times that I remember, in my life, I still recall" "There are times that I remember, I love them all" The Beatles.
Monday, August 6, 2012
Keep it coming
Well, my sister and I have hit new level.
Two sisters sitting next to each other on dark brown lazy boy chairs.
Younger sister is babysitting older sister.
One has a very cool cane (just had knee surgery) guess who this is?
The other a very uncool walker (very old walker)
Big sister: Well, this is something different
Younger sister: I think I liked walking the kids in strollers better
Big sister: yeah
Funny, but just another reminder that the girls are just not what they used to be.
Not ready to be put out to pasture yet tho. At least younger sister.
Been spending alot of time with memories lately.
Funny ones. They are best.
Ones your children do not want to hear over and over.
So......Erin, Brian, Meghan, Devin and Michael Sorry
Starts early,
My sister used to have to take me everywhere when my brother Michael (the favorite) was born
She would take me, I, very happy would not complain when she would squeeze my hand so tight, to make me not want to go. Did not work. I loved being with HER.
My sis and my cousin pulling me up on a signboard to wait for my Grandmas funeral to pass,
My entire family looking for mosquitoes at night, because someone could not sleep until every one in the house was either dead or out!
My brother, such a whiner. Chasing him around the dining room table right into the bathroom where he would lock the door. (of course he will not remember this)
Our rides where Michael and Barbara would not behave.
Barbara and I chasing Michael into the house, causing him to fall up the steps and knock out his tooth. (Barbara's fault)
Michael not liking peas.
Family dinners, me never sitting right. Storming off to my bedroom and slamming the door. My mom coming down the hall, mad, telling me not to do it again, I did. Finally my father came and said Linda please stop.
Weddings: Barbaras, Michael and I both young. I was maid of honor, tripped up stairs in church and my brother and my cousin collected money to hang coats!
My wedding to Bill: my sister crying, one single tear running down her cheek. Gosh, I did not think she cared that much!
Michaels wedding: Erin, usually such a perfect child, decided she wanted her Dad to hold her, (except he was standing up in the wedding!) I had to take her outside and my sister, being the perfect one followed and we then had a incident with a kitten concerning Erin and Brian.
Our trip to Holland and Barbara's spectacular fall. The greatest I have ever seen her do. Rolled right down that hill, knocked over a fence and still managed to hit Erin in the head with her golf club.
My mom, Barb and myself falling down like dominos at Brians graduation party. Mom could not walk then but Barb and I managed to make her fall down.
Erin pushing Brian through the air while in his little round jumper and he went airborne into the patio, from the door wall and landed perfect.
Devin running on to the stage at the end of Care Bears, making his outline of his body on the screen and Erin going up to get him.
Devin running, talking, running, talking, running, talking
Divorce time. Unhappy, making everyone who loved me unhappy. Really making them unhappy.
Unhappy like I wish she would go away. In fact we did, my mom and dad sent us to Florida for a week.
oh, I forgot, Trip to New York. Did not want to go. Made Dad miserable until my mother ended that.
Erin and Devin going away at Christmas and Easter. Very miserable lady. Thank God for Brian.
Michael making me ride a bike all through Monroe. Therapy?
Linda....please. (that would be Dad)
Playing in the basement with cousin Nancy on her BIG chalkboard, running into her LITTLE pool.
Meeting Jerry and findng my soulmate, my person who I had been waiting for all my life.
Getting married to Jerry.
Jerry turning to Erin: Can I kiss your mother?
Michael to Linda: Be happy now.
My best friend Linda who came through all the bad times with me, making single motherhood more bearable.
Our dinners, her crepes, her scaring the kids with fake spiders, me defending Rebecca to a mean store lady, her crepes, our trips, people thinking her kids were mine and my kids were hers.
Dickens: "They were the best of times and the worst of times"
But keep them coming. Friends and family. That is what is really matters.
Not money, not things, but great memories. Good and bad to share.
Oh, did I mention my sister-in-law Barb letting me wear my shoes on the wrong feet Brians entire wedding. Thanks Michael (soon to be nephew in law) for stepping on my feet and knocking my shoes off.
In the big scheme of things, I did alright. I got the best of my first marriage, my children. I met Jerry. I have a great sister and brother ( and their spouses) even tho Art says I am a pain.
I love my life, and soon I will have a new daughter-in-law, Chrissy. Who I love very much. Which will bring more family into my life. Billys family, Chrissys family, Callies family,. Who knows what is to come? But I know now we can do it. We always have.
Let the games begin.
Two sisters sitting next to each other on dark brown lazy boy chairs.
Younger sister is babysitting older sister.
One has a very cool cane (just had knee surgery) guess who this is?
The other a very uncool walker (very old walker)
Big sister: Well, this is something different
Younger sister: I think I liked walking the kids in strollers better
Big sister: yeah
Funny, but just another reminder that the girls are just not what they used to be.
Not ready to be put out to pasture yet tho. At least younger sister.
Been spending alot of time with memories lately.
Funny ones. They are best.
Ones your children do not want to hear over and over.
So......Erin, Brian, Meghan, Devin and Michael Sorry
Starts early,
My sister used to have to take me everywhere when my brother Michael (the favorite) was born
She would take me, I, very happy would not complain when she would squeeze my hand so tight, to make me not want to go. Did not work. I loved being with HER.
My sis and my cousin pulling me up on a signboard to wait for my Grandmas funeral to pass,
My entire family looking for mosquitoes at night, because someone could not sleep until every one in the house was either dead or out!
My brother, such a whiner. Chasing him around the dining room table right into the bathroom where he would lock the door. (of course he will not remember this)
Our rides where Michael and Barbara would not behave.
Barbara and I chasing Michael into the house, causing him to fall up the steps and knock out his tooth. (Barbara's fault)
Michael not liking peas.
Family dinners, me never sitting right. Storming off to my bedroom and slamming the door. My mom coming down the hall, mad, telling me not to do it again, I did. Finally my father came and said Linda please stop.
Weddings: Barbaras, Michael and I both young. I was maid of honor, tripped up stairs in church and my brother and my cousin collected money to hang coats!
My wedding to Bill: my sister crying, one single tear running down her cheek. Gosh, I did not think she cared that much!
Michaels wedding: Erin, usually such a perfect child, decided she wanted her Dad to hold her, (except he was standing up in the wedding!) I had to take her outside and my sister, being the perfect one followed and we then had a incident with a kitten concerning Erin and Brian.
Our trip to Holland and Barbara's spectacular fall. The greatest I have ever seen her do. Rolled right down that hill, knocked over a fence and still managed to hit Erin in the head with her golf club.
My mom, Barb and myself falling down like dominos at Brians graduation party. Mom could not walk then but Barb and I managed to make her fall down.
Erin pushing Brian through the air while in his little round jumper and he went airborne into the patio, from the door wall and landed perfect.
Devin running on to the stage at the end of Care Bears, making his outline of his body on the screen and Erin going up to get him.
Devin running, talking, running, talking, running, talking
Divorce time. Unhappy, making everyone who loved me unhappy. Really making them unhappy.
Unhappy like I wish she would go away. In fact we did, my mom and dad sent us to Florida for a week.
oh, I forgot, Trip to New York. Did not want to go. Made Dad miserable until my mother ended that.
Erin and Devin going away at Christmas and Easter. Very miserable lady. Thank God for Brian.
Michael making me ride a bike all through Monroe. Therapy?
Linda....please. (that would be Dad)
Playing in the basement with cousin Nancy on her BIG chalkboard, running into her LITTLE pool.
Meeting Jerry and findng my soulmate, my person who I had been waiting for all my life.
Getting married to Jerry.
Jerry turning to Erin: Can I kiss your mother?
Michael to Linda: Be happy now.
My best friend Linda who came through all the bad times with me, making single motherhood more bearable.
Our dinners, her crepes, her scaring the kids with fake spiders, me defending Rebecca to a mean store lady, her crepes, our trips, people thinking her kids were mine and my kids were hers.
Dickens: "They were the best of times and the worst of times"
But keep them coming. Friends and family. That is what is really matters.
Not money, not things, but great memories. Good and bad to share.
Oh, did I mention my sister-in-law Barb letting me wear my shoes on the wrong feet Brians entire wedding. Thanks Michael (soon to be nephew in law) for stepping on my feet and knocking my shoes off.
In the big scheme of things, I did alright. I got the best of my first marriage, my children. I met Jerry. I have a great sister and brother ( and their spouses) even tho Art says I am a pain.
I love my life, and soon I will have a new daughter-in-law, Chrissy. Who I love very much. Which will bring more family into my life. Billys family, Chrissys family, Callies family,. Who knows what is to come? But I know now we can do it. We always have.
Let the games begin.
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